16

Last day of our summer classes. The neuro-pedia concept exam was bit easy and before heading home I closed the deal with my classmate’s boyfriend about the “thing” I’ll buy from him. It was heavy, carrying it with my bare hands on my way home. Good thing the queue for jeep wasn’t that long. I also got some lucky bruise as my first try to this extreme sport.

17

Started the day with the boost of reading a long novel. I went out with grandma to the bank to withdraw some money that we decided to lend to our in need relative. It was a pretty pig-out day.

18

So here goes the daily routine. In the morning, I read novels. In the afternoon, I play with my acoustic guitar songs I want to master and learn. Night time means blogging and quality time thru the phone with boyfriend. And that, my friend, is pretty much what happened this day.

19

The original plan was to go to Robinson’s to maximize the 3-day sale offer and for me to update my bookshelf with more decent books but due to mood swings, the date was cancelled and moved thus, I decided not to buy books for the better. I’ll just wait ‘til the next sale then.

20

Home-bound with the usual routine, again. I’m not complaining because it’s somewhat a luxury for me. To rest, sleep when I want, read tons of books, enjoy my hobbies to the fullest. Oh, sweet!

21

Quezon City visit, Crame to be specific. Damn, I was in a building for hours. Queuing here and there. We got some money after all those sweat-dripping-but-no-cause-there’s-aircon action. Hmm! I’m smelling some balato!

22

Grades are now uploaded in our univ’s portal. Sucks to have such an ugly grade. Ugly because it’s stationary. Haven’t move a notch and I guess it’s my laziness to blame. Or should I say my professor just have some personal things that’re not dealt with me but with my grades? IDK. I wished I absented for a couple of days then maybe I deserve that fucktard grade I had.

23-24-25

(23) Shopping day! I bought books and my grandma bought some stuff for our kitchen. (24) Slept all day to catch-up on my sleepless nights ‘cause of surfing the ‘net ‘til dawn. A.I. results dismayed me but well, I’m no relative of J-Sanchez so it’s easy to get over it. (25) Got my grade slip and talked with one of my closest friends in college, she has changed a lot. IDK, maybe because she’s starting to be more grade conscious than I am. Haha! Nvm, I had a blast today. Blast of ride here and there and buy here and there with my two grandmoms and ate Belle.

26-27

(26) Some adjustments are done with our furniture. My room has been more crowded and looked a bit bulkier than its usual feel but I’m cool with that. (27) Same routine as what I’ve mentioned above. I feel I need to improve my acoustics skills and also my extreme hobby talent. My grandma approved my budget to shop some new clothes. Sew happy!

We would drift away from this loud city. We would shout out our kept feelings—exhilarating or not—and outburst them up on a mountain. We would hold hands, run as fast as we could in the woods. Lay under a big oak tree, watch the night sky, its shining stars and floating bubble moon move thru the black space. We would know when to look back but we won’t ever let go. We would watch the sun light up the horizon as our lips slowly meet and just like that my eyes open and realized that we were just a dream.

14

It’s the day before “the first day scho and I met each other” anniversary. So, Scho decided to drop by on our house. He actually got home first than I because I was coming from a not-so-toxic duty then. He welcomed me with a smile and universal sign of kiss—a pout with eyes closed—and I just smiled back at him, trying to tease. He fixed the wires in our cable connection. Truly all-around man.

Later that night, he was downloading some stuff for his gadget. We fought actually because he consumed so much time fixing this and that and you should know that I’m an obsessive-compulsive when it comes to the orderliness of our netbook. We shouted at each other, he’s trying to calm me down but I won’t be stopped. He’s too stubborn! He held my fists and landed them hard on his face. Gaaaash! I hated him for doing that because it hurts me to see him that way. We ended up the night without saying good night. I just walked away and patted him on the shoulder. I couldn’t say sorry just yet. He cried and my heart was slowly breaking. I didn’t fell asleep easy that night. Gaash, boyfie! I love you.

15

The day. It’s been three years since I saw his puffy cheeks, big eyes, playful hair, kissable lips and amazing height. We woke up early because I had a class and he has an agenda too—enroll. We were silent at first, seating beside each other, eating breakfast. We had sunny-side up eggs with tocino and fried rice that morning. He held my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek. We said our apologies to each other. I don’t know why, sometimes we’re just too childish and sometimes I don’t know. (whut?!) We became okay. Cracked on jokes again and flirted with each other.

We were supposed to have a date after my duty but he has a tight and urgent schedule to go to their province for his scholarship and even though it made me sad, I can’t do nothing because it’s for our good also. He promised to make it up to me and I’m looking forward to seeing him again. Hug and kiss him to max!

08

There’s a very thin line between my urge to do some better activities than to sleep and I always fall on the other side of the line which is the part where I glue myself to my bed and cuddle with my pillows. My guitar was waiting for me to caress her but I was too lazy to do so. I’m getting used to waking up at 5:00am and having a hard time to wake up at what I think would reduce my eye bags.

09

Good news lingered all over our Institute’s building. One was we were already seeing our money’s worth bit by bit and that’s evidenced by the renovation being conducted at our building. The second one will be the cancellation of one of our major exams—the one that you need to review all the shiz you study from cover-to-cover.

10

Our professor made fun of me while we were conducting our group report. She prolly noticed that I wasn’t paying attention to the succeeding reporters after us. Who the hell cares?! All of the shit being taught to us were just sort of refreshers. It’s actually a waste of money for the students having repeat all the discussed and surpassed topics. Why they don’t teach us more useful stuff instead? So that we won’t get bored. Unfff!

(11) I tried on the new craze in Manila. The bottled buko shake with a punched bottle cap where you insert a straw and then refresh yourself with the cool milky coco-shake. It wasn’t worth my money. I just wanted to try it and yes, I was damn hungry at that time too because I’m a slow shopper so to speak, I try to budget my money as smartly as possible. Yeah, no point I know. (12) No meetings. No classes. Just pure happy bonding in front of the laptop and my newly arranged room. (13) Mother’s Day! My younger sister actually didn’t had any effort in preparing for our surprise for our grandma but nonetheless, I still included her in the card I gave my grandma. Pff. Lazy kids are lazy. Mother’s Day is Mother’s Day.

The fall of encyclopedias began when search engines in the world wide web went boom. The fall of manila papers being stars of reporting began when DLPs have come to life. The fall of the passion to know and verify facts began when the gullible population increased. The fall of hardwork began when everything had an instant option.

We live in an easy-going world and forgot what it feels like to strive for knowledge.

You want a real adventure? Log out and see the world. Reblogging typos won’t lead you to some extraordinary place.

Keeping your true feelings for a person is such a hard thing to do. You would stay behind a mask that you’ll find hard to put down. You’re going to act as if nothing matters—like a still monument that—wouldn’t give a damn about what’s going on around. You can’t blurt out your emotions—keep on holding back the tears—smile though seeing such a painstaking sight makes you want to lose your control.

On the other hand, letting it all out attracts and needs confidence and strength. You should know the consequences ahead of your decision of telling that person your feelings whole-heartedly. You should be ready for the two possible scenarios: ending up feeling bullshit or feel the damn amazing bliss.

Which side are you in? What would you prefer, accept the challenge of living with untold sentiments or drop the cowardice and accept the faith of saying what you truly feel?

Come to think of it. A train would close doors and wouldn’t care if you’re just three steps behind from entering it, how much more if you’d put it in a context of people waiting with open arms then suddenly lose their strength and will to gain your response?

It’s not bad to hold back your feelings for a person whether it’s mutual or not but you should consider the time and effort being put on by the person patiently waiting for your bitter no or sweet yes.

Not all that waits stays forever or could hold on ‘til you’re ready. That’s the reason why terms such as walk away, let go, give up and leave dreams behind exist.